Month: March 2022

Being Queer

Besides the slap, the Oscars gave us the first openly Queer Latino Actor of color to win. This sent many of older generations scrambling to understand how the word Queer got injected into the Oscars. After all isn’t “Queer” a pejorative? A word not mentioned in polite company and only spoken in hushed voices behind peoples’ backs or screamed accusingly to make a point. 

Yes, until the 80’s the association of the word queer was meant to do harm. I remember being called queer and homosexual for the first time when I was barely a teen. When I looked up the word “homosexual”, I learned it was considered a disease. 

It wasn’t until 1973 that homosexuality was delisted as a disease, by that time I was graduating high school and the damage was done. When you’re different you learn very quickly that consequences are dire and unrelenting, especially in small towns in this Puritanical country.

So most young people escaped to the cities, hoping to find some semblance of community, of family, of welcome. There they were often met with police who targeted cross-dressing and drag with violence and arrest. If you’re ready for a bit of Queer history, I recommend reading about the 1969 Stonewall Riots. Often considered a turning point in human liberation, those “queers” demanded dignity and respect.

The 80’s brought a whole new relationship to the word Queer as people of color and transgender people reclaimed the word as a source of strength. Indigenous people shared their understanding of multiple genders, and the nature of Two-Spirit. 

The binary illusion is cracking. Patriarchy and Christianity are forced to self-examine. Times are tough on them.

I say evolution is a good thing. As someone who is comfortable with gender fluidity, I proudly welcome the word Queer. 

“To Know the Pain of Too Much Tenderness”*

They say when a sheep goes down they are usually gone in a couple of days. That has not been my experience. My ewes are over ten years old now and I am letting them live out their lives on the farm. I have found that sheep, as with many ruminant animals, enjoy the company of their offspring and stay close together throughout their lives, if given the chance.

So it has been with Madonna and her lamb, MissTery who was born on the hillside one sunny spring day twelve years ago. The two were inseparable. So when Madonna, so named because of her singing voice, went down early in the winter, we made an area exclusively for them. 

Through the bitter cold, they shared the space and hay and corn. Both ate ravenously. And while I knew Madonna’s legs would never hold her upright again, I made a promise to care for her to the end. Warm water with a bit of molasses was a special treat on frigid days. It took two of us to move her to cleaner hay and then as she grew lighter, only one. 

Apparently she was waiting for spring to take her leave, confident that her offspring could carry on without her. I marveled at the wonder of being able to witness their closeness to one another. And I was grateful for my own compassion that grew as the days wore on. Tenderness and kindness are incredible human gifts and like all living things they grow stronger with use and care.

We always have a choice. What we will do in times of hardship. What we will do for others in need. We are being driven to be kind and to help one another, if we so choose. Choose love.

*The title of this piece comes from a line in Kahlil Gibran’s “On Love” from The Prophet

The Irony of Evil

Of all that I am and of all that I ever will be I am forever grateful to be a human being first and foremost. Living in a time strife with division, brutality and war, it may seem frivolous to call upon that which we all share in common – our humanity. But I have found no other way to navigate these times. 

There are people obsessed with evil. They see it lurking everywhere and in their paranoia, they go to great lengths to protect themselves from it. Gun culture, military might, and quest for power are not signs of strength, they are signs of weakness. 

The irony of evil is that we seldom see the seeds of it within our self. We’re always sure of its existence outside of us. All those people selling security systems love us for this.

And in this quest to be impervious to harm, we shield away our compassion. In this urgent need to be top dog we miss the tenderness of our humanity. We reject empathy and our hearts harden with uncertainty. In this bowing to fear, we give away the only power that can in fact help us – and that is love.

It is the love of country and countrymen that will let Ukraine survive and thrive again, not fear or hatred. It is the love of peace that will call upon the Wisdom of Solomon to find a way out of this insanity. 

For all that I have seen and all that I know, I will never give up on us. For as mighty is the seed of evil, the seed of love is as powerful, it simply needs our willingness to try and our conviction to overcome.

We have deferred to ignorance for too long.  Let’s give Peace a chance.

What Price, Peace?

“Hesitate and you’re lost”. Those were the words my father used when he taught me to drive. He was addressing the doubt that traps us if we’re not present in the moment.

And what a moment we’re in. We were warned to move out of fossil fuels since the 70’s, but we hesitated. Now we’re engaged in a contest of wills that has placed oil and gas as the battering rams of war.  As the number one producer in the world, the United States can stop accepting Russian oil, but European allies are stepping back and admitting they are in fact dependent on Russia for their energy. And while the Republicans grew the financial aid package to Ukraine from $10 billion as suggested by the White House to nearly $14 billion, they’re quick to condemn the president for raising gasoline prices – which in fact, he cannot do.

I’d like to see the breakdown of military versus humanitarian aid – and see who will be the victors in this capitalist venture. 

So much for the unity required to stop Putin’s death march. The truth is we’re compromised. We’re paralyzed by the fear of our precious lives being economically altered and crushed by the realization that just saying “peace” is not enough to make it so. 

Once again whether by our government or that of another conquering empire, innocent lives are crushed. The tear in human consciousness is again ripped open. And whether we admit it or not, we are altered by the suffering being inflicted on Ukrainian people. We haven’t learned we’re all one. We haven’t learned this is still within our grasp to change.

Peace is possible, but because we have hesitated for so long to nurture and support it, it will come with a price. A price we must all shoulder: pacifists, war mongers, lovers and haters…the price is wanting peace more than anything else. It is a price we can all pay.

We must.

A sign reading “glory for Ukraine” at a rally to support Ukraine at Washington Square Park, in New York City. February 27, 2022

When Madmen Lead

Putin, end this nightmare. For the past week, the so-called “military exercise” has shown it is nothing of the sort. It is a march of destruction and death. There is no propaganda that can excuse the inhumanity that has become the fate of the people of Ukraine.

With diplomacy stalled or forgotten, and international sanctions weighing down upon the people of Russia, one could hope that the insanity would end. But we have seen this before. History has shown us far too many leaders willing to self-destruct – and take countless innocents with them.

We have seen the madmen lead and we have seen human beings follow. We have normalized this behavior while we pray for peace. We pray for peace, but we do not insist on peace. We want war to end, but we continue to allow militarism to dominate us. 

Make no mistake, I believe Putin is wrong and I am not sure sanctions will stop him. I weep for the people who are becoming refugees and for those who are being killed. I fear for the Russian people as the economic squeeze tightens as well as the persecution they will face as they dissent. And I am convinced that the financial shock waves will surely hit Europe and the rest of the world, intensifying conflicts everywhere.

It seems humanity has reached its midnight hour. We can no longer hide behind despotic leadership and claim innocence. We must become thinking people who are not willing to sacrifice our humanity for the empire. 

When I heard Trump call Putin’s aggression “genius” and heard no cries of fowl from his party, I was not surprised. Trump is not a friend of peace. Trump is a friend of greed and power. And his followers are devotees of the same.