Category: Acceptance

Where Do You Turn?

Where do you go to recharge? When your world turns upside down and the battle for right or wrong serves doubt on a platter with no remorse, where do you go? Where do you find solace when people are happy with “Alligator Alcatraz” and images of starving children, bombed buildings and disappeared citizens are the current threats to our existence?

And through it all, where do you turn when billionaire weddings and laughing leaders dance in your mind?What brings back your sanity? When you realize there is no sanity…

Do you stop and “catch” your breath or let it linger and pass without you?

When nightmares seem to erase memories of joy. When horror suffocates hope. Where do you turn?

If this moment of realizing your insignificance allows you to reclaim the power of being human, that is the ultimate win. In this vulnerable state, humility drives us to restore respect and dignity – for ourselves and towards others. That is the goal and our way out.

Love and kindness can lead. Nothing less will do. It has always been about choosing. It has always been about clarity of purpose. It has always been about knowing who you are regardless of circumstance. These are the birthrights of the living.

This nightmare is not the only reality. Throughout time the pulse of life and of peace have been woven into humanity. We cannot forget that now. 

So, where do you go when there are no more tears to shed and your screams are muffled by doubt? Life has not abandoned you. As long as we breathe there is hope. Accept it while there is still time.

Courage lives. Wisdom lives. Clarity lives.

Ask for them. Dig for them. Peace is possible.

Celebrating PRIDE

I could appreciate not having the need for Pride Month. But here’s the reality: Pride came about through the blood and tears, suicides and murders of people like me. Human beings who in some cultures and throughout history were not regarded as “other”, not mistreated and ridiculed, but respected. In some cases we were even revered because we had the ability to see things differently. Maybe being different gave us a leg up on compassion and empathy. I don’t know.
But I know this. I have been on the planet now for seven decades and only for the first few of those years was I blissfully ignorant of the indifference I would be shown – if I “came out.” Once I understood, I hid.

What a horrible way to live this gift of life.
This is a sick symptom of an ignorant society forcing people to hide who they are. Sticking labels on love and dismissing individuality. 
The binary is again being forced upon us. Pride people are not binary people. We will never be binary people and I applaud youth waking up and challenging.

We are as much a part of the Grand Scheme as anyone else. And we will never be erased.

So while I wish there were no need to fly my flag, I’ll do it until my people are free. All my people. The heteros who cling to the status quo and miss out on our beauty; the allies who stand with us; but most importantly for the youth and for those yet to come – that they may be accepted and not need to rally together for the support and love that should have been there from the start.

Love yourself. Whoever you are. Leave no room for hate. 

Our Diversity is Our Strength

I believe and often say, “Our diversity is our strength”. Now that has become a tag line of the Democratic Party. If you think about it, that wasn’t something that could have been said by many candidates throughout our history. It is hard to accept diversity when you are not accepting the differences among us. It is hard to champion diversity when the push towards status quo sameness is drilled into us from birth. It is impossible to honor diversity when fear of other is used from the pulpit and political soap box to provide scape goats for the powerful to hide behind. 

But there it was, loud and clear, “Our diversity is our strength”. Words are easy to mimic; more difficult to understand and nearly impossible to bring to fruition. But here it is, a clarion call to the wise to recognize what Nature has always taught. We are here because of what has come before and what will come after. We’re intrinsically tied to all living things. When one is elevated, we’re all elevated. And while we may not recognize it, when one is harmed, we too, are harmed.

The United States has been an experiment in humanity and we are by all accounts in a critical moment. Can we the people, recognize the value of “the other”. Can we care for “the other”? 

Our collective history is fraught with genocide of Indigenous peoples, slavery and other ongoing racial injustices. Our debates about helping immigrants is hypocritical and ironic, given the reality that most of us are born of settlers who infiltrated this land and its peoples.

Thought has its own evolution. And while the ideals of unity, compassion and caring are not new, maybe the time has come for their acceptance. Perhaps a wider audience is now ready for a new reality that’s not merely lip service. Time and actions will tell.

And high on the list must be the end of the apartheid of Palestinian people. We must end racism here and we must not support any forms of it throughout the world. Come on DNC, honor what the vast majority of our citizens want: #CeasefireNow and stop supplying Israel with war machines. Anything less is the continuation of a ruthless and inhuman history. This is now ours to change.

We are waking up.

I remain hopeful. Do the right thing.

For What Its Worth

Young people are at it again. Stirring up trouble and making us think. How dare they have peaceful protests about genocide. How dare they demand an end to their college’s funding of militarism and the slaughter of innocents. The hubris. The arrogance. Challenging the United States’ long held worship of war is not easy. Just ask those who stood up in the 60’s. Or at least ask the ones who remember how good it felt to be on the side of humanity.

Once again young people are forcing us to remember the creeds we extol. Freedom of speech being among them. It’s very hard to reckon how any of us can still believe the self defense claims of Netanyahu while we watch the horror unfolding and the lies exposed.

Now we’re learning that the Israeli claims of terrorists in UNRWA have no foundation – this after the US led the charge to defund the only consistent humanitarian aid available to Palestinians. And how long will it take Congress to reenact that aid?

Remember the pier the US was building to bring relief? Whatever happened to that? Yet the international humanitarian flotilla carrying 5500 tons of aid may not be allowed to leave Istanbul. And children starve to death.

What must it be like to be a Palestinian in this moment when revenge is promoted on a grand scale and the western world silently utters thoughts and prayers and watches. We were lied to from the beginning of this slaughter, both by the ranking Israeli government and by our President. 

But too many of us are saying, “Don’t rock the boat”, not realizing the boat sank a long time ago.

“It’s time we stop”. Listen to the youth. Remember our humanity.

For What Its Worth. This picture is of Jewish students enjoying and celebrating Passover Seder – while protesting the slaughter of innocent Palestinians at the hands of the extreme right wing government of Israel.

It is worth a lot. we must keep overcoming our ignorance to uphold our humanity.

Please take some time to listen to my conversation with Alan Chavoya on militarized police, the need for community control over policing and humanistic activism. It holds groundbreaking information for those ready for change.

The Play Goes On

We lost a local visionary. Unlikely that many knew of her unless you read her stinging commentaries and delighted in her unrelenting attacks on all things foolish. I feel the bite of sorrow but it has given rise to thought.

The play goes on. And that is how it should be. I often wonder why we don’t stop the madness, why so many of us choose unfulfilled dreams and chaos over the brilliance of being human. 

Out of laziness or mischief, we’re content with words that will never touch our hearts and we fall prey to blind belief too easily. We forget that life’s a game we’re meant to win. Winning is not success with dollar signs attached. That, my friends, is a lottery not a life’s win. 

Fear drives our choices, both individually and collectively, and we accept it as truth. We engage with puppeteers who hold us captive with fear. We give full attention to their musings and seldom question their legitimacy. Our understandings of what is precious in life and what is not meant for us have become twisted. From the touchstone of fear, we allow the domination of greed and power. We succumb to war as our only remedy whether at borders, offices, schools or churches. We play the parts of “us and them” and we act as if it is who we truly are… 

We’ve forgotten the brilliance of being human and forsake the reality of our connectedness. 

Life is our connector. Breath and being on this precious earth are what we share. I cherish those who help me remember. I honor those who refuse to let their candle dim in the darkness of ignorance that parades so triumphantly today. 

In this play of hide and seek with Reality, it’s ours to win. Don’t cower before ignorance. Shine.

“Boldness be my friend. Arm me, audacity, from head to foot.” From Shakespeare’s Cymbeline

Some of us must overcome timidity to have our voices heard. Some of us come into this world determined to be heard. Some of us are born for the struggle. Karen played her part magnificently.

Where Sanity Resides

People sometimes question my sanity for living remotely. “Aren’t you bored?”, they ask. Boredom. That was something I gave up long ago. The spin that the fear of boredom can send us on is deplorable. I’m beginning to believe boredom is where insanity begins. It’s that slippery slope of insatiable and unfulfilled desire. It’s a call to normalcy that’s anything but normal. When we declare boredom, we relinquish our power of choice. And the dance of effort that is required to end boredom robs us of deeper awareness.

I prefer to live in wonder. I prefer exuberance. I prefer to live in defiance of a world that tells me more about boredom than about ecstasy.

I prefer to live where sanity resides. And yes, that doesn’t mean I must live in the middle of nowhere, but nowhere called me and this is where I chose to make my stand.

And my stand is for peace, within myself and around me. 

So where does sanity reside? Clearly, it’s not found on the social media shuffle. You won’t find it on any newsstand, television commentary or zine. Although John Stewart is back on the Daily Show and his few minutes offers the closest bit of sanity – for those unafraid of his absolute version of sacrilege. But no, that is feigned sanity. And while the laughs help cover the sadness of a world gone mad, they also lend themselves to cynicism. And cynicism is one step removed from boredom and not a place I choose to linger.

Sanity resides in the heart. It’s the groundswell of knowing that all is and will be well. Its kin to clarity and has no words. And in the land of no words lies our peace.  

What If

You’ve all heard that sheep are timid followers and to be called a Black Sheep is not an endearing term. So what must it be like to be identified as a Black Sheep all your life then one day you find yourself in a culture that honors Black Sheep? You’re told another story. Black Sheep are leaders. They are courageous, curious and the first to face danger. Would you be like, “No you’re wrong, Black Sheep are misfits. They are unwelcomed and mistreated because they are different.”

That would probably go through your head, but then you might think, “Wow, maybe this Black Sheep thing isn’t all bad. Maybe my culture got it wrong.”

And you flash back to the time you got a lump of coal for Christmas and your father jumped in to protect you and said something like, “Stop it. This is a load of crap.” And you got a glimpse that the load was a lot bigger and smellier than you ever dared to think.

If you’re fortunate the unraveling begins and you start to question the things that you have been told and taught and with good reason. 

Much of the foundation that we build our lives around is more sand castle than rock. When the tide rises, we either cling tightly to the beliefs we were born into or we learn the life saving gift of letting go.

I suppose it doesn’t matter much in the scheme of life whether you cling to your beliefs or find reason to question them. But when we look at the greater puzzle we must reckon with the reality that *“no man is an island” and what you do and say does impact another, either to benefit or to harm.

As our society continues to follow beliefs of dominion and superiority and drives us with cookie cutter sameness, perhaps its time to champion our diversity as the wonder that it is.

***********

Each week I write and record a two minute piece for WDRT Community Radio. It can be found on Soundcloud and I bring it here to my blog. But here you get extra information and sometimes the back story. The sheep in the photo is Cupcake and she is almost four months old. Yesterday I watched her take on our dog Chester after he chased her lamb friend Cookie…as he turned away from her “face down”, she promptly butted him, and I remembered the audacity of being a Black Sheep…

No Man is an Island – John Dunne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

Peace Day. Every Day.

I was invited to speak at a celebration honoring the International Day of Peace. Here is an excerpt:

Since 1981, when the United Nations declared Sept 21 as the International Day of Peace, people from around the world have gathered to lift up, unite around, and sometimes, demand peace. 

On these celebratory days, people have been asked to consider aspects of peace: ending racism, ending poverty, forgiveness, dignity for all, uniting for peace, ceasefires and more… yet peace has eluded us.

Or has it? People often say, “I love the peacefulness of nature”. They might even say, “I find myself there”. There are places, books, works of art and many beautiful things that touch us. One friend told me she had an experience of peace as she touched the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. She went on to say that that one moment of peace satisfied her for a lifetime. This is not true for me. I find myself needing to feel peace every day. 

So we are unique as we meander through life and there are triggers that help us touch the feeling of peace, but I would say to you, peace is not inherent in that place or object or even person that touches us, peace is something that lies within each and every one of us. It stands on its own merit. It resides within and within is where we feel it.

And I would suggest to you that that is precisely why international or world peace has eluded us. Simply put, we are looking for peace in the wrong place. We put a tremendous amount of energy to try to change the outside, without first becoming cognoscente of the power we already have.

We all know and love the saying “peace begins with me”. But do we believe it?

Have we tapped the peace within us, have we consecrated it? Or, have we understood that it consecrates us? Consecrates us…transfers the power of the sacred to us.

Have we understood and accepted the sacred nature of peace? Do we recognize peace as the most powerful tool in our arsenal against ignorance and hatred? 

These are important questions.

One of my favorite quotes is by Audre Lorde, and I am paraphrasing here, “ You can’t dismantle the master’s house, using the master’s tools.”*  We cannot and should not fight fire with fire. If we are to have a legacy of this day and of our lives, why could it not be that we have put down the master’s tools of battle, of anger, of hatred, of ignorance and have instead reached for the greatest tools we have.

It is time we stop giving lip service to peace. Peace does not need us to champion it. Peace needs to be felt and from that feeling, purposeful action can and will arise.

If we have not yet recognized this fundamental point, we need to begin. And today is the best day to take stock of our most valuable gift. Peace. Call upon it. 

We need to stop acting like peace is something elusive and we must allow it to be tangible and real in our lives. 

This year the theme for the International Peace Day is “Actions Towards Peace”. It is directed to each individual, not to a government or any other agency. The request is that we all become Peacemakers.

So now the questions before us are: What are we doing to initiate peace?

And more importantly will we take the time to know what peace truly is?

Doubt is a horrible human disease. It causes us to falter when there is no need to falter. It robs of us life’s sweetness. It is said, no two things can occupy the same space at the same time. Let this be the time that we remove the doubt and replace it with knowing. Let us all begin that journey. Let us all know peace.

Thank you to Unity of Appleton for the opportunity to speak.

  • Full quote of Audre Lorde: “For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives here. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices.” 

Use the Gift

Here we are in Pride month and as one would expect the rhetoric-vilifying non-heterosexuals is ratcheting up. Even Wisconsin Congressmen Van Orden and Tiffany got their anti-LGBTQ cracks in while addressing Canadian fires. One has to wonder who listens to this insanity and why it is lapped up rather than silenced.

Before I rail on the haters, I wish to thank the friends and allies who are unafraid of those who are different. I want to salute the people who have stopped laughing at course jokes and better yet have asked for voices of hate to stop. I want you to know that your words of support and caring have meant a great deal and I recognize there is a risk that you, too, will be erased by hate.

And what is this hatred? It’s nothing more than acquired bigotry that has been taught to us. We have the choice to reject it or to embrace it. But to encourage us to hold the course of hatred we are instilled with fear. Fear of other is solidified by the fear of hell. The grid of right and wrong is flexible when it comes to “Love thy neighbor”. Flexible because it’s OK to hate thy neighbor, if they’re different. 

We’re spiraling downward, cloaked in religion and supported by the ignorance of laws and lawmakers. The ACLU is tracking 491 anti-LGBTQ bills in the United States. And while not all will pass, the rhetoric incites violence and disrespect. 

Choose, People. What kind of world do you want to live in? More importantly, how do you want to live in your own being? I’ve tried hate. It only made me sick.

While we have the gift of choice, let’s put it to good use. 

Photo of 2019 Rzeszów Pride compliments of Silar – Creative Commons – Attribution Share 4.0 License

Change It!

My father had a way of getting me to change my attitude. Whenever I acted grumpy at the dinner table, he would take his hand and slowly pass it over my face. By the time his hand lowered I would be smiling. 

My memories of this always made it seem like magic.  But now I know better.

As chance would have it, I am currently co-caring for a five year old. Grumpy faces and sour attitudes show up when we aren’t getting our way. I tried the slow hand trick, but it failed. So I had to dig a bit deeper to find out why.

My little friend and I started to have conversations about how do we feel when we are angry or frustrated. We agreed we didn’t like the feeling. So I suggested changing it. The implication is that we can change it and that it is up to us to do so. We learned to stop the behavior, but the feeling lingered. Finally she looked at me and said, “I don’t know how.” Amen to that sister, most people will never acknowledge not knowing how. “Do you want to?” I asked. “Yes”, was the answer.

We began exploring ways to change the attitude. For her, running is one way. Taking a time out, by her choosing, is another. 

The power to choose our way out is a human triumph. She’s beginning to understand that. And I am beginning to understand that there was more to the hand wave than magic.

There was my father’s understanding that I could change it, and his encouragement. And above all there was the peacefulness that I felt from him that told me it was possible.

We have a treasure chest full of possibility, if only we take the time to explore.