Category: Love

Love’s Need

Sometimes you hear a song and its full value and timeliness hits home. That happened as I listened to Stevie Wonder singing, “Love’s in Need of Love Today”.

What kind of empathy drives those words? What kind of passion? What arises in us as we contemplate his question, “Did you ever think that love would be in need of love?”

We’re all capable of the compassion expressed in those words and the hope…but we have to wonder what makes a person raise their voice for the only cure that humankind requires, while another will do all that they can to fuel hate?

What is it? What makes a person bitter and cynical and another resolute for change? 

I am of the firm belief that it is not a question of experience, nor is it the coincidence of birth, nor the spin of the wheel of fortune. I believe that for those who can Love, even in life’s hardest moments, it is a choice. 

Hatred and confusion are human defaults. They are throwbacks we cling to when we have not yet learned of our capacity to Love. In the song there is a plea for everyone to give Love, because it is possible, and because it is needed.

People, who have cultivated seeds of empathy, and compassion, can give love. They have turned their backs on fear. And when the purveyors of love pray, sing and dance they open a door for all hearts to enter. When the purveyors of love plant and tend their gardens it is in full knowing that the earth can feed all of us. That the sun shines for all of us. That Love awaits all of us.

Here’s hoping the passionate voices of Lovers continue to call us home and that we open to it.

And for a special treat here is Billy Porter and Michaela Jae singing Stevie Wonder’s, “Love’s in Need of Love Today”

“To Know the Pain of Too Much Tenderness”*

They say when a sheep goes down they are usually gone in a couple of days. That has not been my experience. My ewes are over ten years old now and I am letting them live out their lives on the farm. I have found that sheep, as with many ruminant animals, enjoy the company of their offspring and stay close together throughout their lives, if given the chance.

So it has been with Madonna and her lamb, MissTery who was born on the hillside one sunny spring day twelve years ago. The two were inseparable. So when Madonna, so named because of her singing voice, went down early in the winter, we made an area exclusively for them. 

Through the bitter cold, they shared the space and hay and corn. Both ate ravenously. And while I knew Madonna’s legs would never hold her upright again, I made a promise to care for her to the end. Warm water with a bit of molasses was a special treat on frigid days. It took two of us to move her to cleaner hay and then as she grew lighter, only one. 

Apparently she was waiting for spring to take her leave, confident that her offspring could carry on without her. I marveled at the wonder of being able to witness their closeness to one another. And I was grateful for my own compassion that grew as the days wore on. Tenderness and kindness are incredible human gifts and like all living things they grow stronger with use and care.

We always have a choice. What we will do in times of hardship. What we will do for others in need. We are being driven to be kind and to help one another, if we so choose. Choose love.

*The title of this piece comes from a line in Kahlil Gibran’s “On Love” from The Prophet

The Irony of Evil

Of all that I am and of all that I ever will be I am forever grateful to be a human being first and foremost. Living in a time strife with division, brutality and war, it may seem frivolous to call upon that which we all share in common – our humanity. But I have found no other way to navigate these times. 

There are people obsessed with evil. They see it lurking everywhere and in their paranoia, they go to great lengths to protect themselves from it. Gun culture, military might, and quest for power are not signs of strength, they are signs of weakness. 

The irony of evil is that we seldom see the seeds of it within our self. We’re always sure of its existence outside of us. All those people selling security systems love us for this.

And in this quest to be impervious to harm, we shield away our compassion. In this urgent need to be top dog we miss the tenderness of our humanity. We reject empathy and our hearts harden with uncertainty. In this bowing to fear, we give away the only power that can in fact help us – and that is love.

It is the love of country and countrymen that will let Ukraine survive and thrive again, not fear or hatred. It is the love of peace that will call upon the Wisdom of Solomon to find a way out of this insanity. 

For all that I have seen and all that I know, I will never give up on us. For as mighty is the seed of evil, the seed of love is as powerful, it simply needs our willingness to try and our conviction to overcome.

We have deferred to ignorance for too long.  Let’s give Peace a chance.

Contemplation

Tis the season of giving and the season of gratitude, light gives way to dusk, dusk to darkness and if we are not trying to escape, it’s a perfect time for contemplation.  Contemplation is not worry. It is a pause from the ordinary to reclaim the extraordinary. It’s a gift we give to ourselves in answer to a call that comes from deep within. And if we are fortunate contemplation is more feeling than words.

There is a silence within us that welcomes us home. 

Gratitude wells up there. It arises when we take full stock of all the Good that has come to us and through us. And it arises for no reason at all.

Often the whirlwind of circumstance carries us away but then sometimes by chance and sometimes by purpose we are reminded.

Life is a gift.

It is worthy of our recognition, worthy of our gratitude and worthy of our attention.

We offer up days to celebrate and give thanks. We invite loved ones and strangers into these moments and we hold these times as special and sacred. I have always had a hard time with that – the designation of a day or an hour for celebrating life. 

It has always seemed to me that everyday should hold that celebration, that accountability towards all we dearly love. 

What a difference could be made in this too often cruel world, if more of us would take the time…extend this time of thanks  – even just a bit more.

Be well friends. Seek Gratitude. Share Love and take time for Contemplation

Your Fighting Spirit

Never give up your fighting spirit and learn from others who refuse to conform. 

I had an older cousin who spent the last four decades of her life in a wheel chair. In her early twenties she was paralyzed from muscular dystrophy and could barely move her hands or her head. The first time I learned of her, it was because I heard her voice singing in church. It was a strong and clear voice. It embodied love. When I realized the powerful voice I heard had come from her seemingly broken body, I was amazed. 

She then became my Sunday school teacher. She was devout to her faith, but what I witnessed in her was an unyielding ability to be true to her self. She didn’t tolerate sympathy, because she did not feel lacking. She was not satisfied with Sunday worship alone; she lived her faith and cared for those less fortunate. Many a Saturday I spent ripping sheets apart and rewrapping them to be sent to lepers’ colonies. Many more were spent volunteering at a local Down’s syndrome home – under her supervision. Simply put, she was a powerhouse. 

Her fighting spirit helped keep my own alive. I know her unwavering determination to love caused many to keep her a bit at bay. They respected her, but few could keep up with her. They wanted her to conform to their understanding of what her seeming illness could and should do. But she was defiant, and her resistance to become what others expected of her was a great teacher to me.

We never walk alone. Take courage from those who give it so freely. Let the love and compassion that pulses through us be the victor. Hold onto your fighting spirit.  Resist normality. It was never meant for you.

For Love’s Sake

Once again, the United States has demonstrated its disregard of refugees of color and especially Haitian refugees. Once again we watched as this president followed the directions of past presidents before him. Party affiliation doesn’t have much clout when racism rears its head. 

Thinking people are noticing the implications of climate change. The horrific ordeals the people of Haiti have endured over the past few years coupled with our unending racism damns them to imprisonment and worse. 

The photos of white men on horseback rounding up black men, women and children desperate for aid were absolutely abhorrent. Too painful to look at, but to look away is to ignore. To ignore is an act of compliance and agreement. Compliance with inhumanity is a deadly disease.

Clearly we are engaged in a war to save our souls. We have politicized every aspect of our society and we buy every lie that is dangled before us. The biggest lie of all is the one declaring our righteousness as God’s chosen. We have made outcasts of our humanity and our ideals.  And we elect status quo politicians to keep it that way.

Kindness and compassion must reawaken in our dialogue, in our actions and in our policies. There will be no Superman to save us from ourselves. We hold all that we need within us and it’s bursting to come forth. 

The only thing we have not tried…is Love.

It will only take a few more of us to stand in unity and in peace.

It will take a revolution of understanding to erupt in our hearts and in our minds.

And it will take trying the only thing we have not tried…  

Let us do it, for Love’s sake.

The quote and the photo are attributed to Rev. Jacqui Lewis found on Facebook.

Blessed Existence

Hardship has never escaped the human family. We are pummeled by Nature and by the ignorance that compounds suffering.

My Navajo friend told me how her grandmother fought to keep her baby alive during the forced Long Walk. Mothers who lost their own babies would give what little breast milk they had to the infant. That infant was my friend’s mother. I’ve often reflected on the courage, perseverance and kindness that enabled Annie, my friend, to exist. And how blessed was that existence with all of its hardships. 

I remember witnessing her in morning prayers. Though humble, she was not docile. She stood boldly in her life and welcomed all of the winds that blew her way. 

The story of shared breast milk was not new to me. My mother had been the recipient of wet nurses as they were called. My grandfather had been killed and my grandmother lost her ability to breastfeed. Poverty demands help. And help came in the form of neighbors. I’ve often reflected on the strength and the compassion that surrounded my mother’s existence. And how blessed was that existence with all of its hardships. She, too, had the gift of powerful prayer. 

I am the recipient of the Love of these two matriarchs. With that kind of Love mountains can move.

All of us have been blessed with existence and while our stories vary, hardships and blessings have come our way. Be nourished by them.

These are hard times. These are the times to dig for strength and to uncover our gifts, to seek and offer help. We have the potential to flourish, individually and collectively, despite the hardships.

Have the clarity to be guided by Love. Find the courage to hold onto it.

Regardless of hardship, it is a blessed existence.

The above photo is of Annie.

My Grandmother and me.
My mom and me.

The Greatest Lie

Two hundred and fifteen children’s bodies were unearthed at a former residential school for Indigenous youth. Forced assimilation was the hallmark of schools throughout North America. 

And we are finally acknowledging the 1921 massacre of Tulsa’s thriving Black community, as we continue to uncover the systematic racism that haunts us.  

These are not merely historical one-offs. The mindset that created them is alive and permeates all dominant cultures. It’s a sickness that forbids diversity and that is why trans people are among today’s targets. It’s a virus willing to stifle anything and anyone that may interrupt its control and that is why children from Palestine are routinely arrested, as are imprisoned Uighurs of China and on and on…

If we view these atrocities as separate issues, change seems hopeless. How can we possibly stop all inhuman acts? We lack the will and our excuses are endless. But if we look to the source of the sickness…we have a chance.

Our sensibilities give way to self-destruction. Our insistence on conformity and our inability to see ourselves in another allow ignorance to thrive. It’s not enough to “love the sinner and not the sin”, as my Christian friends are eager to say.  No, it is best to slay the dragon of judgment that we each carry. 

It’s not enough to cry for the two hundred and fifteen children and their families, rather we must stop perpetuating the greatest ignorance of humankind: that we are separate from the whole. It is the greatest lie.

One people. One planet. Every action carries consequence. Every silence is betrayal.

Print / photo compliments of wikimedia commons.

For more on the evolution of humankind, Listen to John Trudell.

Hold Onto Wonder

In years past I traveled the world. Humanity’s contrasts of life styles and beliefs are a marvel, but it was witnessing our similarities that touched me. At the end of the day, we all want and need the same things. Good food, clean water, fresh air, “a little elbow room”* to live as we please, and peace. Settling into farm life, I questioned if my travel discoveries had come to an end… but now it seems the world comes here.

This region is a magnet for people seeking to enjoy the natural world and a simpler way of life. There is migration afoot in this melting pot of milk and honey and I’m grateful for the kaleidoscope of diversity and the richness it brings.  

People often say, “It feels like home,” and I smile because the “home” to which they refer is not the terrain. It’s in the welcome, the beauty and the acceptance. “Home is where the heart is” most surely and when we live within our heart, we’re always at home.

They visit in one season or another and usually leave wanting to see them all. The stars are the same stars, the moon is the same moon, but living outside the neon jungle is a rare gift and those who have not lost the wonder of it appreciate the darkness. 

And in all of this coming and going and listening to each other’s stories, I learn why one has said she’s from Burma instead of Myanmar, and glean deeper understanding of Palestine from a young Muslim couple. 

For a brief time difference is irrelevant and human sweetness is victor once more.

Hold onto wonder. It opens the door to Love.

Love Wins

My partner and I shared a ceremony honoring our love and ending with the words, “I do.” The marriage license was officially signed and the legalities of our bond of love are sealed. 

For people who know and love us there is celebration and good will and that is how it should be. But that tricky word “marriage” may cause a few to be ill at ease. 

Priests in Germany are challenging the Vatican decree that same sex couples cannot be blessed. The priests are calling it “Love Wins” and are holding  “blessings” throughout the country. 

So call it what you will, unions, blessings or marriage, this is a precious moment for us. And I can assure you there was no offering made for someone to say, “Speak now or forever hold your peace”. There were no obeys, until death, or any of the contractual agreements normally heard. We did it our way.

What will be is the incredible opportunity to step out of the shadows and be seen as we are, a loving couple who want sweetness, kindness and peace in our lives together and for each other. 

What will happen is that we will not be denied the right to administer to one another in a hospital or in any legal setting. We will be as one.

Beliefs have caused great harm to people who are different. I am not a fan of the word marriage and I don’t like the words gay or lesbian. Today’s youth who are bucking labels have my respect. 

I prefer human being.

And wish to be treated as such. 

We want the same rights as any other couple. 

How hard is that to understand?

For those who struggle in this straightjacket world, never give up. You are seen. You are loved.