Love Wins

My partner and I shared a ceremony honoring our love and ending with the words, “I do.” The marriage license was officially signed and the legalities of our bond of love are sealed. 

For people who know and love us there is celebration and good will and that is how it should be. But that tricky word “marriage” may cause a few to be ill at ease. 

Priests in Germany are challenging the Vatican decree that same sex couples cannot be blessed. The priests are calling it “Love Wins” and are holding  “blessings” throughout the country. 

So call it what you will, unions, blessings or marriage, this is a precious moment for us. And I can assure you there was no offering made for someone to say, “Speak now or forever hold your peace”. There were no obeys, until death, or any of the contractual agreements normally heard. We did it our way.

What will be is the incredible opportunity to step out of the shadows and be seen as we are, a loving couple who want sweetness, kindness and peace in our lives together and for each other. 

What will happen is that we will not be denied the right to administer to one another in a hospital or in any legal setting. We will be as one.

Beliefs have caused great harm to people who are different. I am not a fan of the word marriage and I don’t like the words gay or lesbian. Today’s youth who are bucking labels have my respect. 

I prefer human being.

And wish to be treated as such. 

We want the same rights as any other couple. 

How hard is that to understand?

For those who struggle in this straightjacket world, never give up. You are seen. You are loved. 

Made for You

It’s the little things this time of year that captivate the spirit and invigorate the mind. The recent rain and bright sun awakened the earth and you will now find trillium and May apples dancing in the breeze. Bloodroot, another forest plant, arrives early and shyly displays brilliant white blossoms. 

And for culinary delight, nettles and asparagus are found at breakfast with eggs our chickens and ducks offer in abundance.

I’m ever on the lookout for young saplings to protect from roving deer or our sheep that mow every tender morsel in sight. 

I hear some people have found morels, but our valley may still be too cool for that. Everything will come in its time, to those who have patience to wait and the diligence to keep searching. 

It’s no surprise that this momentous occasion called spring has been the source of frivolity and celebration through the ages. People who live among the wild things cannot escape the incredible display of life in and around them. 

To ignore these precious moments is to sleepwalk. It cannot be an easy feat to miss this eruption of life and not give the adoration it is due, for it is indeed awesome and feeds our soul.    

To call Nature a great teacher is an understatement. Yet I find the greatest teacher of all to be appreciation. The gift to behold beauty and be lured into a quiet state of mind is the fruit of appreciation. Without it, the impeccable fragrance of the orchard is ignored; the sweet songs of the birds go unheard. 

Appreciation is the gift we give ourselves and is quite capable of relieving every burden. If you have missed the sweetness of the season, turn around, slow down and drink in this moment. It was made for you.

The Myth of Division

My mechanic is the kind of guy never too busy to stop and have a chat. He couldn’t have known I finally decided to be vaccinated when he opened our conversation with his doubts about covid, vaccines, why antibody tests aren’t given and do you really trust Bill Gates?  My resolve to be vaccinated was being tested. Being tested isn’t something I oppose; it’s good to be clear. It’s wise to be prepared to accept all consequences. As our conversation covered more territory: gun regulation, distrust of politics, and the difficulty in having civil discourse, our respect and care for one another was apparent even in our differences.

I smiled beneath my mask, grateful for the human contact. And I responded with my thoughts that covid originated from human disregard of nature and one another. That if we do not wise up, it will be repeated. Yes, variants are real, and yes media and politicians screwed up. There is no reason to blindly trust vaccines and no, I do not trust Bill Gates. But then again I don’t put my trust in individuals or into systems.  

I trust myself. I don’t want to be driven by fear or storybook tales – from any side. I want to reach that place that I learned about long ago, “Leave no room for doubt in your mind”. And that has little to do with untangling the scrambled facts that bombard us daily and drive us to take sides. He understood.

There are three little boys many states away that I long to hold. There are elders suffering from isolation and there are overworked caregivers desperately needing a break. For the sake of all, I will follow Love and trust something Greater than facts.

Jab the left arm, please.

Awakening Our Humanity

As a child, I went to church every Sunday. But that’s not where I learned to pray. 

Prayer was what came through my Italian grandmother as she sang to me. Prayer was imbedded in the final words my father said to me each night, “God bless you always”.  My mother had the amazing ability to curb her rage with prayer. Like a tuning fork I could feel it.

I’ve always gravitated to those who could drink from the cup within. It never mattered to whom they prayed, or for what. There is something in that humanness that touches me. Something in that desire to be heard that assures me.

I can’t find it in the prayers that are made like lists to Santa Claus or are scribed by another long ago. I find this shared humanness in the silence behind the words and it is in the heart not in the ears where it’s felt.

I had the good fortune to find my way to a Navajo Grandmother who guided me towards Walk in Beauty. And it was the prayers of the people at the camps at Standing Rock that beckoned me and held me there.  

So it’s of little surprise that the prayers for justice are awakening my humanity once again. And after the guilty verdict was announced each person who spoke carried the ancestral trauma and the ancestral strength that I could recognize and feel. Their prayers were powerful and offered with certainty.

And I can add my plea to theirs: that we embrace our humanity; that we see one another as kin; that fear and intolerance be dissipated by love and kindness. 

And that humility will outlast power. 

The verdict was not an ending but a beginning. 

And prayer without effort is futile.  

photo: Creative Commons

Disarm the Police

The ruthless killing of Black men and others by police is being challenged, as it should. Thinking people and those who suffered the consequences of force run amuck are working towards creating new systems. Phrases like “defund the police”, “disarm the police”, and “abolish the police” are being discussed as we come to this fork in the road. 

Some are willing to explore the possibility of life without policing, as we have known it. They are championing funding for mental health care and community support. They’re educating us on the historical roots of policing that was created to maintain the wealth and property of the upper class. And they’re upending the myth “to serve and protect.”

In truth we should all welcome this evolutionary moment. But some do not believe in evolution. And it shows. We were all handed a system and some are determined to stick with it – for good or for bad. Their resistance to change shows in “Back the Blue” signs. It shows in comments of how people should obey the police. “If you are innocent, no need to run, right?” Wrong.

As an institution the police force is beyond repair. Doubt it? When a twenty-six year veteran, instructor and past union president of the police force can’t tell the difference between a Taser and a gun…they’re either lying or living proof that the system is beyond repair. Some police are driven by fear of other, some by hatred and some are all too clear what betrayal to their comrades will mean.

Make no mistake; we have arrived. The conversation has begun and we will either go kicking and screaming into that good night or we will embrace what should have happened long ago. 

Disarm the police. Demilitarize our lives.

We’re better than this. 

photo: Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic

No Mandate for Kindness

The Wisconsin Supreme Court once again shut down the mask mandate for the state. Within moments jubilation was resounding in the streets, in the market, on social media and even in our little library. 

Sitting quietly there, I heard this conversation from behind, “Oops, I can’t believe I forgot my mask. “ Then another, “You don’t need it. Do you have your shots?”  The voice got closer and she coughed right behind my chair, “yeah, you don’t need masks now, no mandate.”

Yep. She’s right, there is no mandate for common sense and there never was a mandate for kindness. 

To all who have received shots and believe you are impervious…clearly you have not read the fine print. Vaccinations may or may not stop you from contracting the virus. It may only decrease the severity. And your ability to carry the virus means you may still spread it to others.  

Tuesday was Election Day. I was grateful to see our poll workers masked and distancing. But apparently other towns were intent on flaunting their “freedoms” and callously displayed the ignorance gripping our nation and refusing to let go.

It doesn’t matter if you believe that masks work or don’t. It doesn’t matter that leadership is more eager to battle than to help. It doesn’t matter if you’re a liberal anti-vaxer or a conservative science hater. The sideshows don’t matter.

What matters is your consideration of others. What matters is your willingness to recognize that in this moment of time we are all interconnected. What matters is your ability to care.

People are still dying. Mutations are still occurring. This worldwide crisis is separating living human beings from those who are merely pretending. 

The only way to beat this pandemic is to become respectful human beings. Therein lies your freedom. 

Photo courtesy:  Dcpeopleandeventsof2017/wikimediacommons

Nine Minutes and Twenty-Nine Seconds

The Derek Chauvin trail has begun. 

Instead of over eight minutes of Chauvin with his knee on the neck of George Floyd, we now know it was 9 minutes and 29 seconds. 

We know the first two arresting officers had handcuffed George Floyd and that he had begun to plead, “Please don’t shoot me.” And that he expressed fear of getting into the squad car. 

Then Officer Chauvin and his partner arrived. 

The four officers’ escalation of force had bystanders expressing concern for the safety of George Floyd. And one by one they spoke tearfully and painfully from the witness stand of how they watched George Floyd killed that day. 

They spoke of feeling helpless. They spoke of regret. They wondered what more they could have done to save the life of a man they did not know. They recognized it could’ve easily been one of them, there on the cement, held by four men with a man’s knee on their neck. For 9 minutes and 29 seconds.

They’ll never forget George Floyd begging for his life, crying out that he couldn’t breathe, and calling for his mother.

The entire world is watching. And again we are reliving the senseless killing of a man of color by an officer sworn to protect and defend. Once again we hear the defense of fear as the excuse given to treat another human being as less than.

I can’t help but recall the photos I’ve seen of white hoods and hatred. Of whips and forced removals, of white ugliness cloaked in religion and shielded by politics and the “law”.

And I hope and pray that we see ourselves on trial and that we make it our business to not turn away. Make it change.

Say his name. George Floyd.

photo courtesy of No Spiritual Surrender on Facebook.

Reversing Apathy

“It will never change”. This phrase pops up a lot these days when conversations turn towards conscientious gun laws, ending systemic racism, reversing climate change…you name it. 

Whatever demands we move towards more humane and dignified living, people are quick to say, “it can never happen”.

Really? Of course change can happen. Change is the one thing you can be sure of…but how will it change? In what direction will it change? Will we dive deeper into division, pummeled by lobbyists devoted to violence and war? Will self-serving politicians and clergy manipulate us?  Or will we overcome the apathy that accompanies our unconsciousness?

In a matter of four years, we changed from a country whose whispered racist undertones rose to a crescendo. Who are we, with our doubts and our unconscious apathy, to think we can stop it from changing again – this time for the better?

Martin Luther King was very right when he spoke of the silence of our friends and the mediocrity of whites as being the greatest enemies of humanity and justice. And I add this to his list of enemies: doubt. We doubt our power because we do not know our power. We have not yet understood the strength of our humanity.

When we realize our interconnectedness, we will stop being satisfied with our own personal status quo. Activists call it intersectional thinking. I call it common sense. When empathy and compassion reign in our hearts, they will again reign in our land.

As a nation we refused to protect ourselves from a pandemic just as we have repeatedly refused to protect ourselves from gun violence. 

But it’s not too late. 

Change will come, of that there is no doubt. But the direction change will take… that is still within our grasp. Get in the game.

Above meme credit: Lisa Ann

The Pathological Sickness of Patriarchy

Maybe its my age, maybe its being queer, I am not sure what’s driving my lack of patience with male violence against women, but on a scale of 1-10, I’m at 20.

I don’t know what the experts will tell us about the twenty-one year-old white male who gunned down predominantly Asian women in Atlanta.

He’s blaming it on his sexual addictions. Officials don’t want to believe it’s a hate crime. 

Give me a break. It’s all of the above and it smacks of the misogynistic disease that runs rampant in this country. It’s the pathological sickness of patriarchy.

And greed and patriarchy feed on power. Man camps are known to be breeding grounds for sex trafficking and the mutilation and murder of young women and men – predominantly in Native American populations and other marginalized people who live where resource extraction is big business.

OK, nothing new. Boys will be boys right? Out of state, away from their families, too much money on their hands and too much to prove…but this is where I get really lost.

Someone knows these guys. They are sons and fathers, brothers and friends of someone. Someone knows the sick propensities they exhibit. Someone knows and is not telling. Someone is letting it happen. 

And because pathological patriarchy is power based, it threads through our police, judicial, military and governmental systems. 

We are trained to look the other way.

How many reading this know what a man camp is? How many care to find out? What about the Circuit Court Judge in Milwaukee County assigned to Children’s Court arrested this week for trafficking in child pornography? A story buried as fast as it came up. 

Friends, we are way beyond “Time’s Up”.  And I am asking, where are the men and women to end this nightmare? Wake up.

For more on Stop AAPI Hate

In Numbness We Stand

On February 25th, the United States carried out an act of military retaliation on a Syrian village making Biden the seventh consecutive president to bomb the Middle East. Senators Kaine and Murphy called for congressional hearings on the legality of the bombing. Representative Ro Khanna made it clear that without imminent threat the president must get Congressional approval…but so it goes.

We are a nation of people unwilling to end war. Words like “necessary deterrent” and “collateral damage” have made us numb to the blood on our hands. The Syrian village was bombed in retaliation to an earlier airstrike in Iraq that killed a Philippine contractor and wounded a United States soldier – let that sink in. Various reports indicate that we killed 3 to 22 people. Nobody knows for sure and those that care are intentionally not heard. Oh and the village was “believed to be” occupied by militias. That’s right, “believed to be”.

The smoke and mirrors of both parties in using our military, our soldiers, and our name to preserve and protect the precious oil in the Middle East is horrifying. And yet it continues. It continues because we have grown numb. We accept the headlines and stop reviewing the details. 

We have forsaken the sanctity of life. We cannot be bothered to demand tools of diplomacy be our first choice. Yet our weapons become more sophisticated, more deadly and more expensive. 

And today’s greatest lie is “we must preserve our way of life”, while we bomb villages, and destroy the earth for fossil fuels and to fill a few wealthy pockets.

We have relied on “might is right” for far too long. I look forward to the day when one human life is as valuable as another and this Christian nation lives up to its boasts.

Photo compliments of Creative Commons Attribution – Wikimedia Commons