let kindness win

Pride Never Ends

I remember my first sting of prejudice. It was innocent enough, a third grade conversation asking my best friend if she liked a certain boy. “Oh no”, she replied, “He’s Catholic and Italian”. Hmm, I’m Catholic and Italian. And so it began, the recognition that you are different.

That was my introduction to human ignorance, not enough to rattle my self worth but enough to know that good people hold foolish beliefs.

A few years later that momentary sting of exclusion became a lifetime of caution and hiding as I reckoned with my reality of not being heterosexual.

I’m a survivor. And its true, what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger, but the current hatred of people who are different is no longer something I care to witness. Not simply for myself, but for the youth and for those yet to come who find themselves in an intolerant world full of prejudice and judgment.

Not everyone can take the beatings this society handily dishes out and no one should. If your faith doesn’t permit you to be anything other than hetero, so be it. Enjoy your missionary pose, but leave the rest of us alone.

Carl Nassib is the first active NFL player to come out as being Gay. His eloquent statement was powerful and I agree with him, there should be no need for these announcements, but unless and until we are given due respect, Pride Month will never end for people like us.

It is time to out-Christian the Christians – or any other members of faith that hide their hatred behind the name of God.

Like it or not evolution is afoot, and we will not be silenced and we’re not going away.

Ripple the Status Quo

It’s easy to fixate on evil. A twenty-year-old white man drove his truck into a Muslim family, leaving only the nine-year-old son to survive. And the count of Native children’s bodies continues to rise, as boarding school graves are unearthed. The atrocities and the hatred of dominant culture on people who are different is a story that has been with humankind throughout history, but it is the strength of those who have been victimized that I choose to honor, not the ignorance of a few.

I choose to honor the thousands of diverse people who marched the 4.4 miles from where the family was struck down to a near-by mosque. “Hate has no home here” and “Love over hate” were the signs they carried. Compassion and unity rallied over intolerance.

And the “disappeared” are now being found and mourned as the ongoing trauma inflicted on Native people is no longer a hidden secret.

The Senate and the House will make Juneteenth a federal holiday commemorating the end of slavery. And the true story of the Tulsa massacre will now be taught as facts are brought to light.

But it’s the resilience and the strength of the people left behind that I look to for guidance. It’s their courage that inspires. It’s their unyielding defiance to remain human that I respect.

Their prayers and their efforts to overcome teach the real power of being human.

Dominant cultures flourish by ascribing others as evil. They subjugate people and foster division. Any ripple to the status quo is to be feared and controlled.

If we are to flourish we must overcome the dominance of fear. We must find the courage and clarity to let love prevail and ripple the status quo with our conviction to be human.

photo courtesy of wikimedia commons from a photo taken in Aukland following the Christchurch Mosque shooting attacks in March 2019

What Nature Demands

Our chickens free range and not in a confined space. It means you’re likely to see chickens anywhere on the property. And of course that means every day is an egg hunt. We try to locate the nests before skunks, ‘possums or raccoons do.

We were lucky to locate two sitting hens and move them to safe quarters. Seventeen chicks were born and pranced behind their fearless mothers. Later a third hen yielded another six chicks.

All seemed well until a predator unlocked the coop and killed all but one chick. Certain it was a raccoon; we set a live trap and ensured the third hen and her chicks were secure in another coop.

Next morning the trap was full of one extra large raccoon. But his audacity knew no bounds as he had ripped a board from the smaller coop and killed the hen and five of her chicks.

These are the times that challenge my desire to be peaceful. I’ve caught wild animals before, but none had demonstrated the strength and cunning of this big guy. And now we had to drive him away and set him free.

His ferocity was intimidating, but the task was to free him and the hope was that he preferred his freedom to retaliation.

All ended well as he ran from the cage and scurried off.

We returned to find the solitary survivor chirping away, eager to live and to tell us all about it. We found two more nests in safe locations, so the chickens will do as they are meant to do and procreation will continue.

We’ll set traps for those who also do what their nature demands of them.

And I will work hard to be true to our nature of love and compassion.

The Greatest Lie

Two hundred and fifteen children’s bodies were unearthed at a former residential school for Indigenous youth. Forced assimilation was the hallmark of schools throughout North America.

And we are finally acknowledging the 1921 massacre of Tulsa’s thriving Black community, as we continue to uncover the systematic racism that haunts us.

These are not merely historical one-offs. The mindset that created them is alive and permeates all dominant cultures. It’s a sickness that forbids diversity and that is why trans people are among today’s targets. It’s a virus willing to stifle anything and anyone that may interrupt its control and that is why children from Palestine are routinely arrested, as are imprisoned Uighurs of China and on and on…

If we view these atrocities as separate issues, change seems hopeless. How can we possibly stop all inhuman acts? We lack the will and our excuses are endless. But if we look to the source of the sickness…we have a chance.

Our sensibilities give way to self-destruction. Our insistence on conformity and our inability to see ourselves in another allow ignorance to thrive. It’s not enough to “love the sinner and not the sin”, as my Christian friends are eager to say. No, it is best to slay the dragon of judgment that we each carry.

It’s not enough to cry for the two hundred and fifteen children and their families, rather we must stop perpetuating the greatest ignorance of humankind: that we are separate from the whole. It is the greatest lie.

One people. One planet. Every action carries consequence. Every silence is betrayal.

Print / photo compliments of wikimedia commons.

For more on the evolution of humankind, Listen to John Trudell.

Hold Onto Wonder

In years past I traveled the world. Humanity’s contrasts of life styles and beliefs are a marvel, but it was witnessing our similarities that touched me. At the end of the day, we all want and need the same things. Good food, clean water, fresh air, “a little elbow room”* to live as we please, and peace. Settling into farm life, I questioned if my travel discoveries had come to an end… but now it seems the world comes here.

This region is a magnet for people seeking to enjoy the natural world and a simpler way of life. There is migration afoot in this melting pot of milk and honey and I’m grateful for the kaleidoscope of diversity and the richness it brings.

People often say, “It feels like home,” and I smile because the “home” to which they refer is not the terrain. It’s in the welcome, the beauty and the acceptance. “Home is where the heart is” most surely and when we live within our heart, we’re always at home.

They visit in one season or another and usually leave wanting to see them all. The stars are the same stars, the moon is the same moon, but living outside the neon jungle is a rare gift and those who have not lost the wonder of it appreciate the darkness.

And in all of this coming and going and listening to each other’s stories, I learn why one has said she’s from Burma instead of Myanmar, and glean deeper understanding of Palestine from a young Muslim couple.

For a brief time difference is irrelevant and human sweetness is victor once more.

Hold onto wonder. It opens the door to Love.

Hold Israel Accountable

What’s happening to Palestinians is a crime against humanity. Eleven days of Israeli bombs have, with full knowledge and disregard, wiped out entire families, schools, hospitals and communities. Still the government of Netanyahu refuses to let up.

Make no mistake it is genocide.

Yes, Hamas chose to retaliate the Israeli police attacks on Palestinians in Jerusalem. Much like Geronimo refused to go quietly into the hell of his oppressors. Much like Jewish men and women of the Warsaw Ghetto fought against the Nazis in 1943.

No one should die. Either side. Innocents are caught in the cross fire. Dominant culture exacts its power aided by United States weaponry and yet another president unwilling to hold Israel accountable.

But how surprised should we be? Zionist thinking fuels this “good Christian nation” and our history’s attempt to exterminate Native people was a playbook for Hitler’s holocaust.

We could end this horrible tragedy with one strong united voice.

But we have not yet learned that it is a very few people pulling the strings of war. We haven’t learned that our collective voice for peace could prevail, but for that to happen the silent must speak.

Yes, the silent must speak, those who have grown weary of their allegiance to hatred even though it comes in the form of religion and government.

Yes, the silent must speak, those who have not lost compassion and are brave and loving enough to say, “No more.”

It’s wise to remember that a people are not their government. Jewish people the world over – and in Israel – are standing for peace.

Everyone knows the blockade of Gaza; the injustice and loss of life are inhuman. To remain quiet now is to sanction Israeli apartheid.

Let us act on our humanity. Speak up.

image compliments of wikimedia commons and Carlos Latuff

Love Wins

My partner and I shared a ceremony honoring our love and ending with the words, “I do.” The marriage license was officially signed and the legalities of our bond of love are sealed.

For people who know and love us there is celebration and good will and that is how it should be. But that tricky word “marriage” may cause a few to be ill at ease.

Priests in Germany are challenging the Vatican decree that same sex couples cannot be blessed. The priests are calling it “Love Wins” and are holding “blessings” throughout the country.

So call it what you will, unions, blessings or marriage, this is a precious moment for us. And I can assure you there was no offering made for someone to say, “Speak now or forever hold your peace”. There were no obeys, until death, or any of the contractual agreements normally heard. We did it our way.

What will be is the incredible opportunity to step out of the shadows and be seen as we are, a loving couple who want sweetness, kindness and peace in our lives together and for each other.

What will happen is that we will not be denied the right to administer to one another in a hospital or in any legal setting. We will be as one.

Beliefs have caused great harm to people who are different. I am not a fan of the word marriage and I don’t like the words gay or lesbian. Today’s youth who are bucking labels have my respect.

I prefer human being.

And wish to be treated as such.

We want the same rights as any other couple.

How hard is that to understand?

For those who struggle in this straightjacket world, never give up. You are seen. You are loved.

Made for You

It’s the little things this time of year that captivate the spirit and invigorate the mind. The recent rain and bright sun awakened the earth and you will now find trillium and May apples dancing in the breeze. Bloodroot, another forest plant, arrives early and shyly displays brilliant white blossoms.

And for culinary delight, nettles and asparagus are found at breakfast with eggs our chickens and ducks offer in abundance.

I’m ever on the lookout for young saplings to protect from roving deer or our sheep that mow every tender morsel in sight.

I hear some people have found morels, but our valley may still be too cool for that. Everything will come in its time, to those who have patience to wait and the diligence to keep searching.

It’s no surprise that this momentous occasion called spring has been the source of frivolity and celebration through the ages. People who live among the wild things cannot escape the incredible display of life in and around them.

To ignore these precious moments is to sleepwalk. It cannot be an easy feat to miss this eruption of life and not give the adoration it is due, for it is indeed awesome and feeds our soul.

To call Nature a great teacher is an understatement. Yet I find the greatest teacher of all to be appreciation. The gift to behold beauty and be lured into a quiet state of mind is the fruit of appreciation. Without it, the impeccable fragrance of the orchard is ignored; the sweet songs of the birds go unheard.

Appreciation is the gift we give ourselves and is quite capable of relieving every burden. If you have missed the sweetness of the season, turn around, slow down and drink in this moment. It was made for you.

The Myth of Division

My mechanic is the kind of guy never too busy to stop and have a chat. He couldn’t have known I finally decided to be vaccinated when he opened our conversation with his doubts about covid, vaccines, why antibody tests aren’t given and do you really trust Bill Gates? My resolve to be vaccinated was being tested. Being tested isn’t something I oppose; it’s good to be clear. It’s wise to be prepared to accept all consequences. As our conversation covered more territory: gun regulation, distrust of politics, and the difficulty in having civil discourse, our respect and care for one another was apparent even in our differences.

I smiled beneath my mask, grateful for the human contact. And I responded with my thoughts that covid originated from human disregard of nature and one another. That if we do not wise up, it will be repeated. Yes, variants are real, and yes media and politicians screwed up. There is no reason to blindly trust vaccines and no, I do not trust Bill Gates. But then again I don’t put my trust in individuals or into systems.

I trust myself. I don’t want to be driven by fear or storybook tales – from any side. I want to reach that place that I learned about long ago, “Leave no room for doubt in your mind”. And that has little to do with untangling the scrambled facts that bombard us daily and drive us to take sides. He understood.

There are three little boys many states away that I long to hold. There are elders suffering from isolation and there are overworked caregivers desperately needing a break. For the sake of all, I will follow Love and trust something Greater than facts.

Jab the left arm, please.

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