Change It!

My father had a way of getting me to change my attitude. Whenever I acted grumpy at the dinner table, he would take his hand and slowly pass it over my face. By the time his hand lowered I would be smiling. 

My memories of this always made it seem like magic.  But now I know better.

As chance would have it, I am currently co-caring for a five year old. Grumpy faces and sour attitudes show up when we aren’t getting our way. I tried the slow hand trick, but it failed. So I had to dig a bit deeper to find out why.

My little friend and I started to have conversations about how do we feel when we are angry or frustrated. We agreed we didn’t like the feeling. So I suggested changing it. The implication is that we can change it and that it is up to us to do so. We learned to stop the behavior, but the feeling lingered. Finally she looked at me and said, “I don’t know how.” Amen to that sister, most people will never acknowledge not knowing how. “Do you want to?” I asked. “Yes”, was the answer.

We began exploring ways to change the attitude. For her, running is one way. Taking a time out, by her choosing, is another. 

The power to choose our way out is a human triumph. She’s beginning to understand that. And I am beginning to understand that there was more to the hand wave than magic.

There was my father’s understanding that I could change it, and his encouragement. And above all there was the peacefulness that I felt from him that told me it was possible.

We have a treasure chest full of possibility, if only we take the time to explore.